Illustrations and Charlie Brown

 

So on my continuous quest to become a children's book illustrator, I have hit more road bumps than I care to count. Tackling writing, trying to make my artwork as best as possible, and having working relationships with different industry professionals over the past four years is daunting. I often ask myself why I continue pursuing this goal at the cost of time, family, and other career pursuits. I certainly love to draw, I want to draw for a living, but at what point does it seem ridiculous?

This thinking reminded me of Charlie Brown trying to kick the football from Lucy and it gave me some new insight. The obvious thought is I feel like Charlie Brown. Whenever I think that I will get a break, it's snatched away from me, just like Charlie Brown. It's obvious to us too, the reader, that no matter what happens, no matter what promises Lucy makes, we know that Charlie Brown trying to kick that football is futile. It's never going to happen.

Maybe other people had this thought about my illustration career too, being lookers from the outside. The reality is that I don't know if I will ever get to accomplish my goals. Just like Charlie Brown, maybe, just maybe, THIS TIME, I will kick the football. So I don't know like the reader would.

But ALSO, who is to say that we are the reader? As readers of Charlie Brown's plight, we know what will happen before it happens. We know that Lucy will pull away the ball, and repeat this same joke over and over again. But we're not an omniscient reader of life. We don't know what will happen next. So while it seems that I keep on kicking at vanishing air, maybe, just maybe, one day I will kick the football.

So I carry on with lots of hope driving me.